She's Out!

Wednesday night at work was particularly ugly. We were short staffed, assigned to work numerous positions at the same time and it was extremely hot. Yep..., we had a coworker pass out on us in the middle of unloading the truck:

Overwhelming heat
Searing - burning - unforgiving
Overwhelming heat

Sour sweat
Prolific - salty - chapping
Sour sweat

Overworked muscles
Stretching - aching - screaming
Overworked muscles

Our bodies
Dehydrating - exhausted - drained
Our bodies

The truck
Medium sized - 2,200 pieces - 120+ degrees inside
The truck

Our clothes
Drenched - filthy - constricting
Our clothes

Lackluster Moods
No: singing - dancing - chatting
Lackluster Moods

The line
Waist high - pure metal - movable rollers
The line

The fans
Inadequate - chapping - hot air
The fans

The water
Blue jug - ice cold - replenishment
The water

The process
Fast - focused - deliberate
The process

"She's Going Down!"
Shouting voices - desperate faces - our worst fear
"She's Going Down!"

"C-A-T-C-H..., H-E-R!"
Wilting flesh - body failing - uncontrolled fall
"C-A-T-C-H..., H-E-R!"

A saving catch
Flesh meets metal - a hard fall - a co-worker's arms
A saving catch

"She's out..., she hit the line!"
Shouting voices - desperate faces - our worst fear
"She's out..., she hit the line!"

"F-U-C-K..., F-U-C-K!"
Shouting voices - desperate faces - our worst fear
"F-U-C-K..., F-U-C-K!"

"Great save..., Lay her down!"
Running - sliding - stopping
"Great save..., Lay her down!"

Frantic communication
Walkie grabbed - button pushed - words spoken
Frantic communication

"Get her out of here!"
Waking up - glassy eyed - heavily bruised
"Get her out of here!"

"What the F-U-C-K?"
Previous strokes - failing health - relentlessly stubborn
"What the F-U-C-K?"

"N-E-V-E-R..., A-G-A-I-N!"
Another stroke - heart attack - death?
"N-E-V-E-R..., A-G-A-I-N!"

Bruises everywhere
Large - black - swollen
Bruises everywhere

Fishing for Friends

You can only be
Drug to the bottom
If you want to be
Drug to the bottom

You can only be
Free from the leaches
If you want to be
Free from the leaches

Or else...,
You become a
Bottom feeder
Yourself

Assess your current catch!

If they have sharp barbs...
They will stab and make you bleed
If they appear ferocious...
They will feast until your all gone
If they appear murky...
They will lie directly to you
If they appear slimy...
Its because they ARE

Toss them back
Into the sludge
From which they crept

Toss them back
Into the slime
From which they crawled

Toss them back
Into the water
In which they swam

They will bite again!

Schools of
Greed
Lies
Ill intentions

Breed larger schools of
Greed
Lies
Ill intentions

Free Yourself

Cleanse your
Bleeding heart
Battered soul
Tired mind

Write it down
Right now
In permanent ink
Scratch the words
Onto the slate
Just one last time

First...,
Read it to me
Slowly
Word by word
Slowly
Line by line
Slowly

Then...,
Read it to yourself
Silently
Read it to yourself again
Out loud
Shout the words
With a full voice

Now...,
Wad or shred
Tear or burn
Fold or bury
Your all consuming sin

It's confessed
Shared with a friend
Revisited by the one
That committed the sin

Forgive yourself
Forgive yourself
Forgive yourself

Write down
Yes..., right now
I am worthy
I am blessed
I am loved
I AM FREE

Old Lovers

Heart - Crazy On You, Magic Man

So..., the spilled, broken, product wafting into the thick, dim air was nothing less than powdered tea flavored with raspberries. In my mouth, my hair, all over my t-shirt and shorts - it smelled bad and tasted even worse, as I mistakenly licked my lips. I tell you what, it was a hell of a lot better than jar after jar of broken bar-b-que sauce, ranch dressing or salsa. Those three smells can quickly become overwhelming in 100 degree heat. However, rotten, spoiled canned pet food is by far the worst!

The first time I saw Heart in concert was entirely by accident. My first lover and I had decided to drive from Lubbock, Texas where we were attending Texas Tech University, to Six Flags Over Texas. Two young women, loud music, driving wildly in my white, 1982 Camero with navy blue interior. Yes..., I had the shiniest set of chrome mags and the derriere was lifted up thanks to a great set of air shocks! Damn - I loved that car - always will. Anyway, drove all night and were two of the first people in the gates. Yep..., Heart was scheduled to give a concert that night, little did we know, so..., you better believe it, we bought tickets to the concert. As a couple, we looked like Mutt and Jeff, since she was eight inches taller than myself. Her ego was even taller than that - she was a complete bad ass and literally strutted around, in all of her long legged glory. Like two complete twits, we decided to make the long treck home that same night. After being pulled over for driving too slow (because neither of us could stay awake) we decided to pull into a rest stop. Yep..., we stretched out on the long, sleek, sexy hood of my Camero and went to sleep; warmed by the engine's heat. STUPID STUPID STUPID - looking back, two girls asleep on the hood of a Camero at a trucker's rest stop. Damn..., wonder we weren't killed.

Anyway, we moved to Austin, Texas and finished out our college years at Southwest Texas State University in San Marcos, Texas. She became a police officer and a very rough woman. Guns all over the house gave me a complete case of the creeps. Her temper began to spiral out of control; threw me across the bathroom because I hadn't french braided her hair just perfectly for work. Yep..., that one toss across the bathroom was the first and last toss of our relationship. It was immediately over for me - at that very moment! I'm ashamed to say that I got up off of the floor, stepped over to her and promptly belted her in the chest. She fell straight backwards into the bathtub with one surprised look on her face. Damn near broke my hand - she had her bullet proof vest on underneath her uniform - smashed my ring right onto my finger! I have never hit another lover since and I never will again! My behavior was instinctual; however, wrong, wrong, wrong!

Had another lover, years later, and discovered that she too, had a very bad temper. One evening, about two months into the relationship, we were at her house fixing a dish to take over to her sister's house for dinner. I had driven over to her house that Friday, after work, and was standing in the kitchen in my business suite and heels, watching her cook. She was making home made macaroni and cheese. Unfortunately, the macaroni became over cooked, which I mistakenly thought was no big deal. Well..., I was wrong, to say the least! The next thing I knew, the entire pan of macaroni, boiling water and all, was flying through the air in my direction! I screamed and quickly ducked, as the searing mess flew a few inches over my head. Yep..., picked that pan up off of the floor, slammed it down on the stove and said, "You will never see me again!" Grabbed my overnight bag, walked out and never spoke to her again. She came by my house several times after that evening - I left her standing outside the door - never answered it because there isn't any reasonable explanation for that type of behavior that I will ever find acceptable.

About a month later, her sister showed up at my house. (I was dating the wrong sister - too damn bad she was straight!) Her parents had talked her sister into coming over to my house to find out what had happened that evening. So, I invited her inside and over a glass of tea, we discussed what had transpired and her sister's lack of self control. She agreed that her sister had ongoing issues controlling her temper. Then, she relayed that her parents had already become attached to me (the 10 year older, more established and successful in her career, very feminine, potential life partner.) I explained that I already knew, if a temper tantrum of this proportion occurred over something as silly as over cooked macaroni - that it would only be a matter of time, before something much larger and more threatening occurred. I simply wasn't willing to put myself in that position again. I thanked her for stopping by and sent my blessing to her and her family.

I'm laughing hysterically, as I remember this other young woman that I went on a date with once - well..., I went over to her apartment to meet her. She had a very soft, sweet voice on the phone, there were several extended phone conversations between us before I ever went over to her place. In all my naivety, I didn't get the clue, when she talked about riding me around on the back of her motorcycle - I was supposedly wearing some type of red lingerie on this bike ride! I arrived, after wondering around the apartment complex for what seemed like forever, to find a very young, butch. This was my first encounter with a butch, so I didn't really know what to expect. I can tell you that she was wearing a pair of jean shorts and a white, men's take top with no bra. Okay, I can deal with that - no big deal. Then..., she stretched her arms above her head and there were two armpits full of jet black hair! To hide my surprise, I took a long, lllloooonnnnggggg swig of my bottled Mt. Dew. Then, yes..., out of curiosity, I looked at her legs - lots and lots of long, black hair everywhere. I'm sorry..., I think I stood there with my mouth hanging open, for what had to have been, forty-five minutes or so! So, me and all my girliness and her and all her manliness - hmm.... (you have to understand something, I'm a shaving fool of a woman - I shave practically everyday - I had never met another woman that didn't shave her arm pits or legs. Anyway..., after some polite chatting, I decided it was time to go home and yes..., oh yes..., I had locked my keys in my truck! Yep..., she gave me a rid to my parents house to pick up a spare set of keys and yes..., oh Lord yes..., they just about shit when they saw her!

I have met several butch women since then and relayed that story to them - and it provided them with a good laugh about the young, naive woman that I was! The laughter came from some of the kindest, gentlest and manliest women that I have ever met. It's interesting, if you look deep enough inside a rough exterior, you usually find a soft center! Mmm..., just like gewy, yummy caramel covered in layers of chocolate heaven. Personally, I like having the doors held open for me - and - I enjoy holding the doors open for my wife. It's called courtesy and respect - treat others how you want to be treated in return - its a very simple philosophy. If you are dishonest - expect dishonesty in return. You reap what you sow!

Help Me!

Someone help me! I'm in packing hell!

Yep..., I've become delusional from so much sorting, tossing and packing up all of our stuff. Hell..., I think I might have packed up my brain in one of the boxes..., now, which one, of what feels like a thousand boxes, could I have put it in? Oh shit..., I hope I didn't loose it in one of the trash boxes! That would be a bummer! Oh well..., you can order damn near anything over the Internet - I'll get myself a new one! One that works faster, leaner and meaner! The Mean Joe Green of brains - that's the one I'll order!

Actually, I'm enjoying packing everything up..., because..., because..., I'm actually getting to throw away tons and tons of crap! YEE HAA! I've been wanting to get rid of all of this crap for years now! Yes..., there will be one hell of a garage sale. A garage sale at a house that doesn't have a garage - okay, perhaps it will be a yard sale. Dread..., I don't like to do garage / yard sales..., not one bit. Besides, it's roasting, heat wave, skin blistering, hot outside right now. Yep..., this Cherokee woman can feel herself getting darker by the moment just thinking about the yard sale. I think my freckles are starting to get freckles of their own and Babe agrees. She loves the little brown dots I have all over my shoulders, chest and back. Wow - I'm even getting them on my legs - now that is a little too much!

Thank God Babe took off work for four days so that we could have the sale and then move our heavily reduced, simplified life over to the new place. To hell with unloading the shit over there..., they have two swimming pools! I think cooling off in the clear water should take precedence over unpacking the truck!!! But then again, I think anything that involves swimming (lake, ocean, pond, bath tub, bright yellow garden hose, a big rain puddle, etc....) should take top priority in our lives! It's true, I just can't help myself - I'm a water woman! Probably because I spent my summers in Ardmore, Oklahoma, living on my friend's parent's house boat. That one, floating, double decker, little slice of heaven, must have permanently left its mark on my soul. There was nothing like diving off of the top of that house boat - the lake water was wonderful to help heal the numerous strawberries I got on my legs as a result of softball tournament after tournament. AND..., all our friends in their two piece swim suits - HEAVEN, I tell you it was pure HEAVEN! Especially, Shelly (we nicknamed her boobs) for obvious reasons! She was a total slut - different guy every night - damn shame! Stacked to hell and back - in a two piece - it's a wonder Sherry (another closeted lesbian) and I didn't accidentally drown every time Boobs came out to the house boat. My God..., I later found out that probably, 70% of our gang of 15ish women were lesbians - how wild is that? The shame of the thing is..., the one that I had a crush on for my last summer there, was definitely straight - she was so adorable, shy, blond, fair skinned, blue eyes, feminine, sweet, innocent, and the only non-athlete in the bunch. Damn..., I could have just licked her from head to toe and back in a heart beat; however, that would have ruined a friendship.

The other day, Babe was at work and the local, professional soccer team was having a blood drive donation thingy. Her coworker, S., kept talking about all of the guy's legs and how sexy they were - hounding my wife to go up and take a peek at the guy's with her. She said that S., practically started begging Babe to go upstairs with her - for the entire first half of their work day. Then, S., mentioned that the cheer leaders were at the drive, as well. Remember, Babe is not out at work! Babe said, "Honey Doodles, I just wanted to yell..., well hell..., if you'd told me the cheerleaders were here earlier..., I'd been right up there at your side admiring each and every one of them!" That is soooo not like my wife to say something like that (think it - yes..., actually say it - no!) Being the out woman that I am, I would have bravely yelled out "I'm there already!" Bolted straight upstairs and tried my best not to salivate all over them! Damn - why couldn't that have been "bring your wife to work" day? Because..., this over sexed 43 year old, would have given herself a heart attack and died right there at the blood drive - right along side her wife! (Laughing hysterically now!) One of them would have probably said, "Gee! I broke a nail! Gosh, I don't know who the president is..., what was his name again?" And the fun, admiration and salivating would have quickly ended for both of us. SIGH

I suppose I should pack something..., anything! We don't live in a home anymore - we live in stacks of this and stacks of that! Stacks here, stacks there..., stacks, stacks everywhere. We have this enormous Christmas tree (since the ceilings are 12 feet high in this old house) and I can't seem to talk Babe into selling it in the garage sale and getting a shorter one. Oh..., I keep forgetting that the living room has a vaulted ceiling in the apartment - never mind. What should we do with the fish in the pond? I'll probably take them to the local fishing hole and release them. K., and Babe dug the pond in our back yard, so that it is deep enough, that the Goldfish and Koi don't have to be brought inside during the winter months. If I wade in to the deepest section, the water hits me right around the chest - it's deep for a Koi pond. They did a good job - only took them two days to dig it out.
I guess I'll wade in there and get the pump out for the garage sale. Paula, don't forget to disassemble the two external pumps and sale them as well. Oh..., and the girl's bicycles! Damn..., I completely forgot about the prolific heap of lawn stuff in the shed out back! SIGH SIGH

Simplify..., decrease..., ease..., lighten..., reduce..., diminish..., free yourself of all of this crap already! Pack it up and ship it out! I wonder how much it would cost to ship all of this stuff the 30 miles to the new place? Okay..., may have to hock the children to pay for the shipping. $300 for 2 hours - that is what a local company wants to charge to move our big stuff. Damn, can't pull that off and pay for deposits on utilities and the apartment. Too bad..., have to lug all of this stuff ourselves. Well, we've done it before and obviously, we will do it again. Even more reason to lighten the load! Babe is leaving the packing up to me, which is entirely fair, because she works such long hours, in addition to, an hour and a half commute each day. I'm happy to be the packing woman, since I just hang out in the house all day anyway and do housewife type stuff. Truth be known, if it was entirely up to me, I would get rid of absolutely everything that we have - just keep the sentimental stuff that we have given each other over the years!

Good Grief!

Babe and I did some packing this morning. I woke up at 4:00 AM and decided to work on a blog that I've been trying to write - the next thing I knew, she was standing in the kitchen fixing herself a "diet brown" (that's what she calls her pop.) I could hear the clank of ice cube after ice cube being put in her glass. Threw me off, because I fully expected her to sleep in since she is off work today. With her diet brown in hand, we made our way upstairs and into the bedroom. Yep..., began to tackle one of the two large master bedroom closets - yikes! Even K., our youngest, had never gone to sleep and was up and packing at 4:00 AM - we are such a strange bunch of women.


Babe collects interesting coins - she sat at the desk and sorted through all kinds of loose change that we had been putting into two antique glass containers. She was engrossed in sorting, as I pulled one box after another out of one of the closet and began to rummage through them.


Babe, "Honey, your just grinning away as you pull all of that crap out of the closet - why? Are you that excited to get rid of all of that stuff?" Turning around in her chair, with her good morning hairdo and sipping on her diet brown drink.


Paula, "I'm grinning because you are mumbling away to yourself over there while you are looking at each piece of that change!" Giggling, "Wheat..., wheat..., nope..., wheat, wheat and wheat!"


Babe, "I know! I can't stop myself from saying it out loud (wheat) every time I find a wheat penny!" Chuckling at herself. Picking up a penny and holding it out towards me, "Look, Honey Doodles, this penny will be 100 years old in just 17 years! Isn't that cool!" Her eyes lighting up as she looked at me. "I know..., I'm weird!"


Paula, "Your my weirdo and I like you that way!" Taking the penny out of her hand and examining it, "It's cooler than cool, babe. It's too cool - cold - burrrrr!" Smiling and handing the penny back to her. She keeps all of her interesting coins in a gold plated, candy box thingy. Looking over her shoulder, I can see that she has money from Panama, Canada, Japan and Mexico sorted into envelopes. I used to have a coworker that went on several cruises a year - damn bitch! (That was just a tad bit of jealousy there.) I would give her a twenty and have her pick up samples of foreign money for babe, so that she could add it to her collection.


Babe, "Honey Doodles, I can hear you singing away in there!" She starts singing in an lower voice (trying to mimic my singing voice), "I've got enough spice in this family life..., I don't need an affair with a friend!" She chuckles, "Speaking of spice..., just 18 more days until the girls leave for college!" Wink..., wink.

Did any of you in blog land, notice how damned good Brittany Spears looks in green? WOOF!

Then I ran across the pictures of when we took the girls camping - just after she had told them that we were a couple. Yes..., we waited a long, long time before we told the young little girls - wanted to make damn sure that our relationship was going to last - so that they wouldn't be introduced to someone that wasn't going to be in their life permanently. They already knew me, since I worked for Babe, for well over a year before they knew we were a couple. We took our relationship slow..., slow..., slow! Besides, Babe had never been with a woman - even though she knew she was a lesbian - so I wanted to make damn sure she was in love with me and not going to break my heart or get cold feet.

Anyway..., there was a shot of me standing behind Babe, with my arms wrapped around her. I'm leaning around her, smiling and looking directly at her face. She is standing there, with her long blond, hair smiling away at the camera.


Paula, "My God! Look how..., young..., we were!" Grinning at my wife.


Babe, "Look at my blond hair - I forgot it was blond back then!"


Paula, "Yep, it's been blond, sandy blond, dirty blond, light brown, medium brown, and oops..., greenish and oops..., purplish!" Giggling, "Now it's reddish brown!" Pushing her bangs out of her eyes.


Babe, "And you weren't gray yet..., look at all of that dark brunette hair you had!" Smiling at me. "Now..., I dye it medium brown for you..., well..., except for this last time!" Laughing, "I'm sorry, I picked out a much lighter color and didn't realize it until I had smeared both boxes worth, all over that thick, long hair of yours!" Running her hand through my hair and grinning.


Paula, "What comes to mind when you look at this picture of us?"


Babe, "Love..., love honey, that is what comes to my mind! What about you?"


Paula, "Hmm..., yes love..., definitely love! AND..., the second tornado that the girls, the other little girl that we brought with us and I sat through, in the campsite restrooms, while you were at work that night! Every bit of our gear and clothes were scattered all over the place and EVERYTHING was soaking wet! AND..., it reminds me of fixing macaroni and cheese and hot dogs for dinner. Remember, I told you that we used a towel to strain the macaroni in after we had cooked it - the girls thought it was funny. All four of them held a corner of the towel as I dumped the hot water and macaroni into the center of the towel. Hell..., I didn't know what else to use since I forgot to bring the lid to the pot! AND..., it reminds me of M., having that screaming, crying, completely unglued fit, because there were bugs in her tent! Remember, she unzipped it, went inside with her lantern and all of those bugs flew into her tent because she refused to turn the light off? Remember how she screamed and flailed her arms all over the place..., for what seemed like hours! Do you remember..., how we kept yelling, ""Turn the light off! Turn - your - light - off! Zip - the - door!"" Then, we couldn't help her - as she screamed and flailed so much - that the tent was falling down around her because, all four of the rest of us, had segued into a gigantic, humongous laughing fit of epic proportion? We laughed and laughed and laughed until the tent collapsed, the light went out and she just laid there!!!!" We both break out in laughter as we remember the event together.


Babe smiling, "Yes..., I remember that! If we had helped her, she wouldn't have learned anything. We already told her to keep her tent zipped and her light off, at least, a hundred times!" Chuckling, "Hell..., once we got the tent back up..., she never left it unzipped or went in with her light again! Even M., remembers that night - she laughs about it herself now!"


M., got up out of bed and stepped into our bedroom, "What are you two laughing about?" She leans over Babe and sees the picture we took of the three little tents that we had bought each of them. "Ah..., you made us each try to put our tents up by ourselves so that we could learn! Of course we couldn't get them up alone, so you had us help each other - that's when the first fight broke out. I think we had been there a whopping ten minutes! J., got pissed, threw her tent into the woods and stomped off in a huff!" She pauses, "Oh my God..., do you remember all of those bugs? How I came completely unglued, screamed and screamed at the top of my lungs?" Her eyes light up, "That's what you two were in here laughing about, isn't it? I see how you are!" She laughs, "I thought I was going to die in that tent with those thousand bugs! That trip was a blast!"


Paula, "Do you remember that we made you pack your own bags and told you guys that you needed to bring bedding, your swim suits and several changes of clothes? And we checked with you guys repeatedly to make sure you had at least brought what you would need?" Looking up at M. while Babe begins to chuckle.


M., "Yes..., I only packed my swim suit and Teddy (a stuffed bear!) J., only packed her swim suit and cd's. I think K., was the only one that brought any bedding and some random bag of trash out of her room. Cassie, on the other hand, saved the day, because she packed every single item that she owned and brought it with her! Too damn bad we all weren't size 1 like she was and none of us could fit into her clothes!" All three of us start laughing. "Remember when K., packed her room when we moved in with Paula? You unboxed countless bags of trash from her room that she had packed?" More laughter filled the air. "She even packed the trash that was inside of the trash can that should have been thrown away!"


Babe, "Yes..., that would be..., absolutely correct! Countless bags of trash! Every time we went in to check on her progress, we would find her just sitting in the middle of her room, playing with a different toy. Then..., when moving day came..., all of a sudden everything in her room was mysteriously packed and ready to go! She even packed up the packing tape, scissors and marker that we gave her to use!"

Yep..., I even found the contract for a paper route the four of us worked on one summer - many, many years ago. Damn - what a blast we had running that route with K. and M. M. and I would head out in one car - she would direct me as to where to turn (because I couldn't remember where I was supposed to go to save my self) and we would roll and throw, roll and throw - all night long. We had such a blast together, trying to beat Babe and K., on their half of the route. Yep..., not one restroom open anywhere..., yep..., we peed in the bushes many times and laughed our asses off! Apartment complexes: papers inadvertently thrown into the pool, on the wrong balconies, broken hanging pots after I wildly threw the paper up to the third floor..., wild, wild, summer nights. That was the summer K., broke her ankle running behind the smoking piece of shit, van that Babe was driving - not good! Yep..., M. and I would get bored - try to hit the balconies by standing with our backs to them and throwing the papers over our heads, between our legs like a football being hiked to a quarter back, spinning in a circle and the letting go of the plastic wrapped, rubber banded paper at what we thought, was the appropriate time! So much fun..., it's a wonder that we didn't get Babe fired!

M. and I also had this set of run down, dorm type apartments that students lived in - God..., the smell inside the halls was sickening. Dread..., every night when we had to go inside. So, we worked out a system - she rolled, banded and bagged - I ran hand fulls into the building, raced up and down the stairs to see how fast we could get the papers out while I held my breath. Smell - God it smelled in there! Stunk - we would smell just like those apartments when we left there. It was awful! Damn..., Babe and K., always finished before us - didn't matter how hard we tried to beat them; couldn't have been because we were always inventing some new, entertaining way to throw the papers. The job only lasted for a couple of months since it was downtown in a very large city - yep..., Babe finally saw someone with a gun and it was over with at that very moment!

Babe also worked in a convenience store - over night - while she was going to college to get her degree. Scared the shit out of me every time she went to work. Sometimes I would drive there and sit in my car all night long while she worked away. Sometimes, I would go inside and spend the evening with her. I just couldn't help it - she was there all by herself - all night long - on the highway with absolutely nothing else around! I can't tell you how damned excited I was when she had to quit so that she could do her internship in a doctor's office. The doctor's office where everyone was constantly sick because their basement had flooded, the records and walls had all molded heavily and they didn't have enough good sense to get it CLEANED UP PROPERLY! Yes..., they handed out allergy medication to all of the employees every day - fucking unreal! At least the internship only lasted 8 weeks and then she was free to find a job in her new field. FREE internship - did I mention that she wasn't paid!

I had never heard of a house or businesses having basements until I moved to the Midwest. Being an Oklahoma and Texas girl - we only had brick homes. Then..., you move to the Midwest and the homes are all painted in pastels and have siding and basements. It was quite a shock to me at first. Oh..., and multiple floors - not just one level anymore. I felt out of place for several years in the Midwest. I still would like to move somewhere else - away from all of the lingering homophobia. And..., then I learned about snow plows - stay out of their way! Most we ever got in Oklahoma was a good case of ice - rarely any snow like here (inches and inches become feet over time.)