Meeting My Wife!

Come on guys - I know there are some of you out there that have something interesting to discuss! I'm trying to make some new friends - so speak to me..., please! No haters though..., I don't have time for people who hate! Surely..., some of you in blog land are just as full of it as I am! LOL I don't care how old you are, what race, economic status, etc.... I have friends from all walks of life - that is what makes life interesting.


What is the average height of a woman? I don't know..., hold on, I'll look it up on Google. Okay, after four sources - looks like the tall end of 5 foot 3 inches. How wild, I thought the average height was taller! Well..., I learn something new everyday. Why is it then, that our children think I'm so short? They make comments quite frequently about my height (or lack thereof) - why is that? I think they are confusing - smaller in frame - with shortness. I don't feel short at all..., then again I don't feel 43 years old either. Maybe I'm the one that is delusional. Hell..., I feel like I did in my early thirties - I'm the same height as I was in my early thirties so; therefore, I must be in my early thirties. How's that line of reasoning - convoluted, at best!


So..., babe is on call this weekend so that means several long trips to her work and back. I can't wait to move - she will be so much closer and it will be a lot easier on her. Especially those middle of the night calls - going downtown, in the pitch black of night, isn't a good idea for a woman by herself. I will go with her and wait in the car so that I make sure she gets into the building safely. I'll wait in the car, with the doors locked, and let my mind wonder as usual. Then, before I know it, I will see her smiling face walk out of the double glass doors and head back to the car. Sometimes it doesn't take more than five minutes (shame the trip takes 1 1/2 hours to complete) or ..., it could take a while.


I just love my wife so very much. When I say, "I love you," those three words no longer can describe how I really feel. To say, "I love you," seems inadequate at best! What do you say when you feel such a deep connection with someone, your soul mate, that you know damned well that you couldn't live without them?


My wife was my boss when we met. I know..., you shouldn't date a coworker - that's right - you should marry your boss instead!!!! Babe, was waiting for her divorce to become final from her second abusive husband and had three little girls. Yep..., she wanted to have a family (to replace the one that she didn't have in her childhood) so she conformed to society's norms thinking that it was the only way to obtain children. In the Midwest - that is what a lot of gays and lesbians do - conform. So, there she was, knowing all the while that she was a lesbian, getting divorced from her second husband.


I had quit my lucrative job as a financial analyst because I just couldn't take sitting in a cubicle one more day! I remember calling the phone number in the paper and inquiring about the job. Babe answered my phone call, her voice was very soft and she hesitated quite a bit as this Sagittarius woman, asked one question after another about the position. I must have said something she liked (or..., they were desperate for help) because the soft voiced woman asked me to come in for an interview. I had absolutely no experience working with mentally disabled women, what so ever, so....


I still remember the first time that I saw my future wife; sitting at a table eating a bowl of bran flakes! Ten years later - I remember her sitting there, blond hair draped over her shoulders, methodically eating her cereal, just like it was yesterday. Yep..., she had long, shiny blond hair, beautiful green eyes and fairish skin. Then she stood up in her jeans and t-shirt and I remember thinking, "Holy Shit! Paula..., she's gorgeous, a little taller than you and very well endowed!" Yep..., it's true..., I tried very hard not to stare at her! Unfortunately, (fortunately) I was in a deteriorating relationship myself, with an egotistical, controlling, highly educated, closeted woman that kept tabs on everything I did during the day. You know, Sagittarius people don't like a whole lot of rules and don't fare well with being told what to do all of the time. She even kept a little black book and wrote down every time we had sex, who had how many orgasms, etc..., - she was such a MAN! I found that damned book - and made her throw it away! However; I found out later that she transferred all of the information onto her computer BEFORE she threw the damn black book away - such a bitch!

Anyway..., there Babe stood, in her jeans and shirt looking absolutely yummy. She went into the kitchen (where we prepared meals for the women at lunch time), rinsed her bowl out and stepped back into the room. I'm pretty sure an interview of some kind followed that; however, I don't remember anything about her questions..., not one bit. I just remember wondering if she could see my heart pounding in my chest as I stared into her bright green eyes! Folks..., it was over for me at that moment..., I just didn't realize it until much later. So..., I got hired somehow and started working with her and the mental disabled women that lived at this large mansion type house. We would take the women out for the day, to free concerts, shopping, fishing, etc.... Babe, was constantly picking on me all of the time - at one point I was convinced that she just plainly didn't like me. (I later learned that picking on me was her version of flirting.)


Several months passed and my affection for Babe grew and grew. I had broken up with my current girlfriend (who was convinced that I was sleeping with Babe; however, we didn't commence our relationship for months after that.) We both wanted to make damn sure we knew what we were doing, weren't on the rebound and had three little girls to consider. So..., we took our relationship very, very slow - that is probably why we have made it a successful 10 years together so far! I remember standing in the bathroom with J., one of the women, and we were flushing her "bad voices" down the toilet so that she wouldn't have to hear them in her head anymore. I quickly learned that if I put J.'s voices in the oven, washed them down the sink or threw them outside in the snow and slammed the door - that she would stop hearing them for awhile and get some relief! Anyway, there J. and I were, flushing her voices down a urinal, I looked up and saw Babe bending over one of the tables in her scooped neck t-shirt. She was helping V. color a picture that she was working on at the moment. Yep..., I had yet another, heart attack right there in the men's restroom! All I could see is cleavage and more cleavage as Babe continued to bend over. I exclaimed something like, "Holy Shit!" and Babe looked up, saw me admiring her breasts and just grinned. (Much later, I found out that she knew damned well what she was doing and was just waiting for me to notice - sneaky, sneaky woman!)

Winter quickly set in and I found myself reaching for Babe's coat, as it hung on the rickety, wooden coat rack and wearing it outside, as I took several ladies for a walk around the vast property every day or so. I couldn't help it - that jacket smelled just like Babe - had her "cooties" all over it and I HAD to have it on MY body! So..., the sleeves hung way down over my hands, the waist hit me at mid thigh - I didn't care - it was HER coat I was wearing. The soft brown outside lined with some type of green checked flannel - yet another clue that I missed in on my heavily dysfunctional gay-dar! I didn't care that the damn thing was way to big for me - it was HER coat..., all over ME! I would come back inside after the long walk, remove her coat, take a good long sniff of the collar (she wears Dune) and then hang it back up on the coat rack. Yep..., one day she caught me huffing her coat - it was only slightly embarrassing as I blushed heavily and just smiled at her!

So there I was, falling in love with my boss, who - as far as I still knew - was a beautiful, sweet, intelligent, straight woman waiting for her divorce to become final. I remember thinking, damn..., how could you let yourself fall in love with a straight woman - someone that you have no chance in hell with, Paula. But..., there was nothing I could do about my feelings, what so ever. So..., I admired her from afar, asked all sorts of questions so that I could learn, as much as possible, about her and the girls, and kept my secrete to myself. Then..., I went through a bad case of the "I want her, I can't have her..., I can't eat, I want her..., I can't think, I want her..., I can't function anymore..., all I can do is think about her" blues. I was love struck and at the end of my rope - every time we were alone together all I could think about is pressing my lips against hers, running my hand through her long hair and gently caressing every square inch of her voluptuous body! I wanted her in my arms, underneath my body and all over me! I was consumed, engulfed and on the verge of having some type of mental melt down each and every time I laid eyes on her!

One day, right out of the blue, I walked up to her and said, "B., I have to find a new job because I like you much, much..., MUCH more than you have any idea. You are a God damned, straight woman; for heaven's sakes!" Those words flew right out of my mouth before I knew what had happened. I think we both were equally shocked - I turned around, walked off and left her just standing there with a stunned look on her face. Thinking, "My God, Paula..., you just threw that right out there, blew her away in two statements; you complete jack ass!" We went on about our day, one activity after the other with the disabled ladies, as if I had not said one word to her about finding a new job. Later that afternoon, as I was grabbing my stuff and about to walk out the door she stopped me.

Babe, "Paula Jo! You told me that you liked me, and then you just walked off and left me standing there!" Standing directly in front of the door so that I couldn't leave.

Paula, "Hmm..., I supposed I did! I think I embarrassed myself and mortified you in the process. I'm sorry! I won't come back to work again, that way, you won't feel uncomfortable being around me!" Looking highly embarrassed and wishing I had never told her my true feelings.

Babe, "What! What! But..., I like you too! I feel the same way about you!" Her eyes lit up and she smiled broadly at me.

I stood there, staring at my future wife, wide eyed and in shock. Surely..., surely I didn't hear her correctly..., didn't understand what she just said..., you have been overcome by wishful thinking Paula! Finally, I managed to mutter a highly intelligent and well thought out, "Huh?"

Babe, "I really, really..., REALLY like you! I don't want you to quite working here. I want to see you everyday..., you know..., for real! I'm attracted to you..., I've always been a lesbian and thought that the only way that I could have a family, is if I married a man! I was wrong!" I was so shocked..., I just stood directly in front of her and gazed into her beautiful green eyes, speechless. "I now know..., that I can have a family..., with a woman!" She could tell I was absolutely blown away by her statement - I had no clue that she was attracted to women what so ever - let alone me!

Paula, I managed to mutter another highly intelligent statement, "Oh!" I slowly formed a smile on my face, "I had no idea..., I never suspected..., my God..., I'm blown away! Your attracted to me? No..., you've got to be kidding me! This another one of your jokes, isn't it! You're pulling my leg, aren't you! This isn't funny, B., you know how I feel about you!" Forming a very serious look on my face and trying hard not to get teary eyed.

Babe, grinning, raising one eyebrow and looking down at my button up, jean covered legs, "No, I'm serious AND I miss seeing your legs in those shorts that you wore during the summer! I wish it was still summer - lots of soft, brown skin on those legs of yours! I miss rolling up your t-shirt sleeves for you and seeing all of those freckles on your arms! However; I do like seeing your little derriere, strutting around in these button ups!" Reaching down and tugging on my front pocket.

Paula, "I strut? I strut?" Still in shock and looking down at her hand as she held onto my pocket.

Babe, "Yep..., you have the cutest little strut that I have ever seen! It's some type of feminine, athletic, walk combination thing you do!"

Paula, "Well..., you have a unique strut yourself! You only walk on the front part of your feet - your heels never touch the ground! I've never seen anyone walk quite like you do!"

To say the least, we were inseparable from that point forward!

We Got The Apartment!

OMG - we will have some place to live after all! Babe heard back from Zack today - YEE HAA! I've been praying that God will help us find somewhere to live - where ever he wanted was just fine - just show us where to look, Lord! YES! TOUCHDOWN!

I took a nap and asked my wife to wake me up when she got home from work. She was so excited that we got the apartment, "Honey Doodles..., wake up Honey, up, up, up!" As she is kissing on my toes (We call them little ladies! She calls mine, little painted ladies!) while I'm sleeping.

I peer out from underneath the covers, "What? What! Good job babe - I'm so proud of you!" (I sleep all of the way underneath the covers, head and all!)

"Remember - they will have things for you to do during the day if you feel good enough! There is a large fishing pond, a work out room, a huge walking trail, and plenty of wooded shady areas that you can play with your pitch back thingy. Yes..., two pools, plenty of kids to play with and..., and..., and...." She knows her wife needs to play in order to be a happy camper; the child that needs to play never grew up, so to speak.

I start giggling and wiggling my little painted ladies at her since she is speaking directly to them and not me! "I love you so much, babe! Thank you for finding this place with plenty of things to keep me occupied! Thank you for loving me sooooo much!" Sitting up, stretching, yawning and then beginning to grin. "Hmm..., how much was the deposit? When can we move? What all did Zack say? How much is the rent again?"

Anyway, the power went out this morning around 4:00 A.M. - Yep..., just our house! Fixed Babe's breakfast and lunch by candle light - was quite interesting. I told her I was not accountable for how much mayo I put on her sandwich since I couldn't really see what I was doing. Turns out a raccoon took the power out - yes..., we have raccoons all over the place - on our front porch in the mornings (they are adorable!) Unfortunately, K., found a baby raccoon out by her car this afternoon - yep..., got fried on the power line. Poor little fella! So, Babe and I went out with a shovel and scooped his little body up, took him over to the abandoned school (where they live) and put him in the grass. Looks like he fell from the tree where the power pole is, took a nose dive into the power lines and.... The skin was all burnt off his little nose and around that area - damn..., I feel sorry for him.

Some mornings, when Babe leaves for work, there are four our five raccoons on the porch. Two parents and their little ones - so, so, adorable. We stand at the front door (its an eight foot, glass door) and they stand up on their hind legs and we all just stare at each other! If you haven't ever seen one, up close and personal, they are just cute as hell! So are armadillos and opossums - I know - I'm sick if I think they are cute. Hey..., pigs are so much fun - they actually love to be petted! So..., I love animals..., should have been a pig farmer, I suppose! So are lemurs - crawl and hang all over you - absolutely fun, fun, and more fun!

Blue Denim - Stevie Nicks (So..., I'm going away for a little while to remember how to feel!)

Got some packing done - books, books, books, clothes, office desk and computer software. Went through drawer after drawer and pitched all sorts of stuff. Babe has pills, peppermints, gum, change, pens and hair ties in each and every drawer in this house. I swear - she is such a wild, pocket emptying woman! The first time I saw her empty her pockets out (before we were dating) I should have know she was a lesbian - a spark plug, change for pop, aspirin, keys, a socket for a wrench and a pack of gum. All of that came out of just one pocket in her jeans!!! LOL - my gay-dar has never worked - not once! I am such a twit! However, in all fairness, I have to say that I have some type of tool..., okay..., tools, in every room in this house. Remember I was restoring this 80 year old beauty, so there are drills, sanders, nail punches, wood putty, etc..., everywhere! I should post a picture of one of the stained glass windows I made - worked my ass off on them.

We washed and groomed the dogs - Jolie and Sophie today. While I love animals - I don't like dogs at all. They are my wife's and children's dogs. I can't do the dog poop thing what so ever - I'll puke right there in the yard. Been there done that! Jolie is going to visit one of M.'s friend's house tomorrow for a trial run to see if they want to adopt her. She is a very nervous dog - looks like a large collie - like Lassie. You have to let her wear herself out completely before you can bathe her. Sophie, just stands there and looks intently at you while you get her wet, soap her up and then rinse her off. Two completely different personalities.

So..., babe is on call this week at work. That means countless trips to work and back - anytime of the day or night. The compensation for being on call doesn't even come close to the money she spends on gas driving the 1 1/2 hour round trip that it takes to get there. Hence..., move into an apartment that is 12 miles from her work! YES YES YES Oh..., and she got a wink, wink, nudge, nudge from the manager in another department for a job opening. This position would be in Quality Assurance and would be another promotion for her!!! I'm so proud of my wife - she definitely has found her niche! I love being Babe's wife - I can't imagine being married to anyone else - ever. I wouldn't trade her for anything or anyone - nope..., I'm here for the duration, folks!

Hmm..., the IBS is in full swing - still loosing weight unfortunately. Hopefully, it will calm down soon and I can eat something and keep it down. I managed to eat a whole piece of pizza the other day for dinner - how pathetic is that? One piece - and I'm full. Oh well, not much I can do about the IBS at this point. PUT ZELNORM BACK ON THE MARKET! PLEASE!!!

FEAR - WHY?

Have you ever noticed how fear plays such a big part of our lives?

Religion: Often, in churches, we are taught to fear God, his wrath and the devil. Why is this? I feel it is because, as humans, we are motivated by fear. Why don't they teach about God's love, forgiveness and plan for each and every one of us? Instead..., do this or you will go to hell..., do that, or you will go to hell! How about, do this..., because it is the right thing to do! Teach God's love - not that we should believe in God out of fear! Don't fear or condemn people that have different religious beliefs than your own. We are all trying to reach the same glorious point in our lives - there are many paths available to us on this journey.

Fred Phelps - now that is one lost soul! Poor guy - he is so damn lost in his own hatred and misery!

Government: We go to war out of fear of the other country's religious beliefs, accepted social practices, political stances, etc..., anything that is different from our own. They are different from what we know or believe..., so, we should fear them. We, as a society, could learn a vast amount from studying other cultures. Stepping outside our own beliefs and take a good long look at other point's of view.

Certain politicians fill us with fear - so that we will buy into their spun webs of deceit. SHAME! Try the truth for a change - not all Americans are deaf, dumb and blind!

Note: It's easy for the U.S. to go to war, I believe, because we have not had a war on our own turf! May be quite humbling to be invaded by another country - get a good taste for what we have been handing out to others. I don't want a war on our soil - I don't want a war on any one's soil! War is inexplicably devastating, on so many levels! We are not always right!

Failure: How many of my friends admit that failure is their biggest fear. Why? Are they afraid of being embarrassed? Failure can be one of the most humbling, learning experiences that any of us can experience. Besides, if we fear failing - we will never try anything new, anything that might involve risk, personal sacrifice, egg on the face, etc.... We might not succeed if we don't fail! I have tried and failed at so many different things, that the thought of failing at something new, doesn't even cross my mind anymore. I don't consider my past experiences as failures, though; they are just learning experiences. I know damn well, that I wouldn't be who I am today - if I hadn't made the choices and mistakes in my past. It's all part of the life journey. However, I know that I have broken some hearts on my life's journey and for that, I will be eternally sorry.

Success: On the flip side - there is the fear of success. This particular fear can be as overwhelming as failure. Some people don't have a healthy respect for success; they will run over anyone and anything in their quest to succeed. Only to get to the top, alone..., alone, lost and empty! Void of humility; their souls often being sold along the way. They will abandon their friends and family - for the almighty ME!

Alone: Some fear being all alone in the world. Sometimes we need a long period of being alone to remember who we are, what is important to us and find out which path we are supposed to be taking at the moment. Yes..., getting sidetracked off of the path, happens; however, a good long look at where we have been can be quite refreshing. Empty your suitcase, do some laundry and pack for the next big adventure!

Blame: I call these people blame shifters - place blame on someone or something else instead of taking responsibility for your own actions. How many people have I ran into, over the course of my life, who would rather die than say, "I'm sorry..., I made a mistake!" OR "Wow, I really screwed that up!" OR "That's my bad..., that was all me!" I have found that if you readily admit your mistakes, you will gain more respect from your peers and make them feel more comfortable about admitting their own mistakes.

A good friend can always make you feel better. I have one particular friend in mind, Dawn, who is 17 years my junior. Besides for my wife, Dawn is the type of woman that would say, "Damn..., that sure was fun! At least we went down together, Paula!" Dawn and my wife don't blame shift - never ever! Dawn is one of the most sincere, truthful and loving young women that I have met in years. God bless her; about sixty days until her wedding to Chris. I absolutely can't wait to attend this, long overdue event! I'm so proud of her.

East Hampton!

Okay, its true..., I can't spell worth a shit! So..., if I have spelled something a little strange - just ignore it. If spell check doesn't catch it - I'm not going to either!

Hmm....

East Hampton Reels as Billionaire Town Floats Debt - Bloomberg.

"The Long Island sanctuary for the rich, where lobster salad sells for $85 a pound, has been hit by a double whammy: a tripling in workers' health costs since 2003, which officials failed to anticipate, and a 43 percent drop in revenue from mortgage taxes related to real estate sales in the first half of the year from 2007. Town officials for the first time plan to reduce the deficit by borrowing, after winning state approval for a $15 million bond sale."

"The town's bond rating suffered a four-level cut in May."

A four-level cut in your bond rating is huge folks! Very scary - the economy is starting to sting everyone! And I mean EVERYONE. So, a $15 million bond sale, on your bonds that have already been downgraded, - scary.

"East Hampton is self-insured to cover health care for its 448 employees and retirees. Costs associated with the plan increased to $9.2 million this year from $2.9 million in 2003, according to the official statement for bond anticipation notes sold in June, one-year securities that helped finance capital projects and improvements."

So..., you think we might need to reform health care yet? Yet? Now? How about right NOW! While I realize, that the folks that live in the Hamptons are wealthy - don't begrudge them. The are just people, like you and I, who have dreams, hopes, desires, failures, crazy family members, pimples, broken hearts, etc.... No one..., no one should have their health care costs increased to this extreme! And if properties aren't selling, or are selling for a reduced price, etc..., then a municipality's property tax income base is naturally going to decrease. Just like what is happening in every other town in the good ole U.S.A. What most people fail to realize is that the economies are so intertwined (including foreign country's economies) that it only takes a little shake, rattle and roll to set the pendulum swinging.

Remember, the financial market's always correct themselves. If a security, or set of securities, are over valued, it will only be a matter of time before the "bubble" bursts, the price slides downward and the market value is corrected. This is exactly what happened in the housing market - combined with extremely "loose" lending practices by mortgage companies. Anybody with a brain, could see this growing crisis looming overhead about three years ago. That would be everyone except - BUSH. Case in point - Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are so extremely under capitalized that the government is going to have a hard time bailing them out! And folks..., they are just two, in the list of many, many mortgage related fatalities.

When a company is in trouble, in the financial markets, they start to "unload" their stocks, bonds, debt, etc..., in hopes that they can raise enough capital to sustain themselves through the rough spot that they are experiencing. The financial markets aren't "stupid" - its easy to tell when a company is in trouble and is starting to "dump" their assets onto the market scene. All one has to do is wait..., wait..., wait and the price for the "dumping" falls..., falls..., falls. Then you can pick up a bargain, so to speak. However; the troubled company picks up less and less value for their assets that are being sold off - and quickly realize that they aren't going to receive as much cash flow back into the organization as anticipated. So..., now they are in a worse position than they started out in..., their ratings get downgraded, making it practically impossible for them to raise more capital. Then..., they receive an audit or two..., and we learn that there was "creative accounting" happening and down they go. One right after another..., financial failure. (I've been on the regulatory end of this..., its ugly, brutal and a lot of innocent people loose their lively hoods. However; the guilty should pay!)

"Government Bailout!" Babe and I laugh hysterically when ever we see these two words in print. Bailout with what money? This country is next to broke, borrows heavily from other countries, and can't even figure out how they are going to keep social security and welfare afloat. No..., lets spend all of our tax dollars on fighting a ludicrous war, or wars for that matter, in which we should have never been involved in to begin with! Since when does two wrongs make a right? We don't like the fact that you are "beating up" on your countrymen..., so we are going to "beat up" on you! Oh, yes..., let's not mention how many foreign bridges BUSH has burned. How stupid and short sided is that kind of thinking? Ahh..., that's right..., big business stands to gain from wars: defense contracts, oil, all sorts of overseas services, etc.... All of that money you stand to gain from war isn't going to spend in hades, BUSH & CHANEY! Last time I checked..., paper burns - just like hearts and souls!

What are we, as a society, going to do with all of the families that have been displaced due to mortgage foreclosures? There are only so many apartments and houses for rent. So..., families merge together, whether they are related or not, and try to eek out a living and survive this economic downturn.

Hmm..., did anybody else find it interesting that Alan Greenspan, the ex-Chairman of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve, was smart enough to get the hell out of dodge before the big slide began? That should have been a huge sign folks - however, I bet I could ask all of my friends if they know who Alan Greenspan is and they wouldn't have the slightest clue. Why are people so dis attached from reality, lost in their own little worlds, not giving a damn to what is happening in the world around them? I struggle with this issue quite frequently. Babe is the only person that I can have a thought provoking conversation with about the plight of the world. Now that is a damned shame!

We did start teaching the girls, when they were quite young, about politics, the economy, thinking outside the box, caring for the welfare of other's around the world, gaining as much education as they possibly can, that there are two sides to every coin, etc.... That has paid off handsomely for our family of five. We can have all sorts of conversations regarding presidential elections, health care reform, the world economy, foreign leaders and challenges that they face in their respective countries, etc.... No, we don't all see eye to eye on every subject; however, their arguments are based in more fact than fiction and are made from a young persons perspective. The more they experience life - the more interesting the conversation becomes. Yes..., we went out on a limb to teach them to learn, learn and learn - contrary to the blinders that the rest of their family wears. They come home, all upset from visiting relatives, and can't believe the uninformed and misguided comments they hear at family functions. Teach your children to think, think and think some more before they base their opinions.

Apartment Hunt!

OMG - apartments are sooooo small! It's been many, many years since I lived in an apartment - definitely forgot how they are severely lacking in storage space. Well..., babe is now on board for pitching, selling and donating almost everything we have acquired in the last 10 years. How funny - it was good that we both went and got a feel for their size - small, smaller and smallest.

That's alright though, we will survive and..., and..., this wife will have a much easier time cleaning two bedrooms, two bathrooms, living room and kitchen. The apartment that we are going to try and rent is smaller than one floor of our current house! That, in and of itself, will be a huge relief for me. Also..., guess what - no yard to mow, no $1,200 in property tax, no $800 in home owner's insurance, no more $270 electric bills, no more $300+ gas bills in the winter, etc...!

M., found homes for three of our cats. Mr. Noodle and Bug Girl will go and live with her dad and his mother. Samuel "Enchilada" Jackson (kitten) will go and live with a girl from her work. Margaret "Peanut" Thatcher (kitten) has already gone to live with another friend from her work. We still need to find homes for: Truman "Baby" (kitten), Pickles, Relish, and Pi. Dill (Dilly Bean) will come and live with Babe and I. Dill is my soul mate cat - she cat fetch! I'm not kidding - loves to fetch pennies, of all things! (Pickles, Relish and Dill are all sisters)

That leaves Jolie and Sophie (dogs), as well as, Aero and Magnum (rabbits) to find homes. The birds, Bella and Zues will go to the apartment with us. Nothing like the sound of birds chirping to lift one's spirit. Anyway..., the one we chose isn't the cleanest, newest or largest apartment we can afford. However; it has a large gay and lesbian community - SOLD SOLD SOLD!!!! We don't have any gay or lesbian friends - all of ours are straight, young people. So, we are hopeful to make some couple friends that we can hang out with and enjoy.

Babe and I were talking about how nice it would be to have people over to watch football, eat dinner, play games, etc.... When we were in the office, gathering information, there was a woman sitting at one of the desks wearing a security uniform. Babe was giving her vitals to the rental guy, Zach (he was soooo much fun) and all of a sudden this deep voice....

"B.R.S.? Well..., B.! I thought that looked like you!" A woman's voice sounded into the room (the security guard.) Both of our heads whipped to the left and looked at the surprised look on the woman's face. B., has never been "out" at her places of employment - and there we sat, wearing our matching wedding rings, discussing our children with Zach.

Babe, "Sylvia! Honey, I worked with Sylvia at Home Depot!" Looking directly at me.

Sylvia, "I was just telling Zack (the rental guy) about how I got fired at Home Depot for writing Homo Depot on my orange apron!" Laughter filled the small room.

Paula, "Well! They must not have a sense of humor over there!" Smiling at the woman who could obviously arm wrestle an elephant to the ground.

Babe, "No they didn't! Remember, my boss was the one that dressed in drag on the weekends! Gay by night..., straight by day!" More laughter filled the room.

"B., you are going to love it here!" Staring at me while I smiled at her, "They are all sorts of us (wink, wink - nudge, nudge) here..., all over! I'm moving in on the fifteenth, myself. The complex is very gay friendly, every one helps each other out, there are walking trails, a fitness room, two pools, fishing pond and wooded areas."

Paula, "Oh my God, babe..., we might make some friends!" Looking at Sylvia, "All of our friends are straight..., makes discussing gay and lesbian issues a little difficult..., and we can't behave like ourselves!" Sylvia shakes her head up and down in agreement.

Eventually, we made our way out to the pool area and Zack knew all of the swimmers by name and bantered back and forth with them. If we should pass the background check, Zack will live directly across the hall from us. He shares a three bedroom apartment and their total utility bills are only $200.00 a month! Wow..., that is about $300 less than we are spending right now! SOLD SOLD SOLD! So..., cross your fingers and lets see if babe can get us into this apartment.

They are a drug free community and have someone on sight, enforcing this policy 24/7 - that is why Sylvia was there. Babe said that Sylvia and her partner were trying to have a baby, succeeded and then the relationship fell apart. She thought that their relationship was already troubled so..., she wasn't surprised to find out that they had split two years ago. She said that Sylvia had worked in the paint department at Home Depot - which got a smile and a nod from me, "Yep..., I remember her now!"

The third apartment complex that we went to..., well..., it was a homophobic nightmare! The first ugly look came when she saw that we both had the same address. The leasing agent didn't want to show us any apartments; just wanted us to walk around the office (an apartment itself). So I said, "Hmm..., this really isn't a good representation of what an actual, lived in by many people, apartment would look like..., so, walking around in here, isn't going to satisfy us." The woman frowned and Babe and I exchanged glances. "We want..., to see..., an actual..., apartment!" She suggested that we go and look at one that she knew was out of our price range. So, I said, "Hmm..., you just wrote down the price range that we can afford..., and you know..., the one that you are going to show us..., is too expensive!" A huff and a hateful stare in my direction. I spoke slowly and deliberately to her - not rude - just letting her know that she wasn't going to get rid of us that easily. (All 5 foot 4 of me - laughing, because I'm soooo non-threatening!) So..., she took us to one that was out of our price range, of course, (which we realized once we got inside the damned thing) and while it was brand new, large and clean - there was no way in hell that we were going to rent from this company.

The woman said, "So..., you two share a cat? How do you..., share..., a cat?" Looking at Babe because she was no longer talking to me. Pretending that she was a complete idiot!

Paula, "It is the same cat..., in the..., same house!" More frowning on the woman's part.

The leasing agent, "And, B., you have children? How do..., you..., have children?" Still talking to Babe.

Babe, "We have 3 daughters. Only two will be coming to stay with us while they are on spring break from college!" Babe and I exchange glances for the hundredth time since we met the rude woman. I gave her my "no way in hell" look and she promptly provided me with her "I rather die" look, in return.

I promptly said, "Thank you, we've seen..., enough!" And we left the apartment, got in the Zoom Zoom and shook our heads from side to side as we drove off to the next destination.

Paula, "For heaven's sakes, babe..., could she have been any ruder, more disgusted or aloof?"

Babe, "I should have ran her over in the parking lot when I had a chance! She was walking across the street when we drove up!" Chuckling. "What a bitch! I think we intimidated her!"

Paula, "I think she is a complete twit! Neither one of us are intimidating, in the slightest bit, babe! She couldn't even look us in the eye when she spoke to us! Didn't offer to give us a ride to the apartment, like the last two places did! Do we have contagious written on our foreheads or something? I need a new, ice cold, Mt. Dew..., if we are going to have to put up with this kind of ridiculous behavior!" Babe immediately pulls into a Quick Trip so that we can refresh our drinks.

Babe, checked to see how I was feeling, numerous times during the day. She is such a sweetheart and loves me so much. I actually got to go to work last night, came home and attempted to sleep some before we headed out for our day. I didn't get much rest, because I'm used to going to bed at about 10:30 in the morning - not 5:00 AM. Instead, I tossed and turned, mumbled and kicked my legs, flung myself and the covers, all over the bed, as usual. I'm sure sleeping with me - the sleep all over the bed and talk out loud, while you are dreaming, woman - isn't that fun. We have a full size bed - yep..., not much room for flailing yourself around. Anyway..., I'm getting a little tired and it is hot outside, so we agreed that we would go see one more apartment complex, head home and take a nap.