Physical Characteristics

I suppose that we could all answer that question differently. My good friend, D, sent me a questionnaire on My Space. The gist of the questionnaire was to find out, from various friends on the list, which physical characteristics they were most attracted to in the opposite sex. Now..., they all know that I'm a lesbian and are aware of the fact that I will answer their questions with all of my Sagittarius, brutal honesty. My wife and I have no lesbian friends; therefore, I find myself answering all sorts of Midwestern "curious about lesbians" questions quite frequently. All of the women on the list are considerably younger than myself and are coworkers of mine. I think the reason for the age difference is because, while I'm anywhere from 15 to 20 years their senior, I'm very open and honest about myself and accept them for exactly who they are (both their strengths and weaknesses). I'm full of life, always smiling, joking around and am the silliest, craziest, nuttiest one in the group (that is why their jaws dropped when they found out that I spent six years in college, graduated at the top of my class and have earned BBA's in Finance, Economics and Computer Science.)

So..., what hair color do I prefer, eye color, age range, body type, etc.... The list went on and on and on - one meaningless question after the other. At first, I left every question blank and typed the following words on the bottom of the list, "Shallow, shallow, shallow!" Then I paced from room to room, in our 80 year old house, for a few minutes and thought to myself - P.J. this is a perfect opportunity to open their eyes and hearts. Okay..., that is just what I'll do with this questionnaire. I returned to the computer, erased the nasty message I had written at the bottom and typed the following: "I have surfed the wonderful, female waters quite heavily and have learned many things from my experiences with women. The most important lesson that I learned from swimming in the estrogen ocean is..., that a woman's exterior characteristics only house her most important features! Those features would consist of her mind, her heart and her soul. A woman's physical characteristics are nothing more than..., wrapping on the present. And what do we do with presents; we quickly unwrap them so that we can see the gift inside!!!!"

I pressed the post thingy on the page and prayed that they would receive the intended message. I had my wife read it when she got home from work to see if I had explained my thoughts correctly. Her comment was, "Swimming in the estrogen ocean, honey doodles? I tend to think about your previous encounters as, well...," She pauses and gives me her, you know you are the only woman that I have ever been intimate with, smile. "Well..., that you mowed a lot of lawns before you finally decided to settle down with me and the girls!"

I responded, "Just think, babe..., if I hadn't been busy occupying my time with lawn care..., I wouldn't know that our grass is a very dark, hunter green! I have no need or desire to perform lawn care for any other woman, when I know fully well, that our yard needs mowing all of the time! I just..., can't..., get..., enough..., of cutting, trimming and edging our lawn!" I giggled, of course, because I'm a giggler. My wife laughed and asked what was for dinner. "I'm having you!" I responded, "Who needs to eat dinner when you can have dessert?"