Apartment Hunt!

OMG - apartments are sooooo small! It's been many, many years since I lived in an apartment - definitely forgot how they are severely lacking in storage space. Well..., babe is now on board for pitching, selling and donating almost everything we have acquired in the last 10 years. How funny - it was good that we both went and got a feel for their size - small, smaller and smallest.

That's alright though, we will survive and..., and..., this wife will have a much easier time cleaning two bedrooms, two bathrooms, living room and kitchen. The apartment that we are going to try and rent is smaller than one floor of our current house! That, in and of itself, will be a huge relief for me. Also..., guess what - no yard to mow, no $1,200 in property tax, no $800 in home owner's insurance, no more $270 electric bills, no more $300+ gas bills in the winter, etc...!

M., found homes for three of our cats. Mr. Noodle and Bug Girl will go and live with her dad and his mother. Samuel "Enchilada" Jackson (kitten) will go and live with a girl from her work. Margaret "Peanut" Thatcher (kitten) has already gone to live with another friend from her work. We still need to find homes for: Truman "Baby" (kitten), Pickles, Relish, and Pi. Dill (Dilly Bean) will come and live with Babe and I. Dill is my soul mate cat - she cat fetch! I'm not kidding - loves to fetch pennies, of all things! (Pickles, Relish and Dill are all sisters)

That leaves Jolie and Sophie (dogs), as well as, Aero and Magnum (rabbits) to find homes. The birds, Bella and Zues will go to the apartment with us. Nothing like the sound of birds chirping to lift one's spirit. Anyway..., the one we chose isn't the cleanest, newest or largest apartment we can afford. However; it has a large gay and lesbian community - SOLD SOLD SOLD!!!! We don't have any gay or lesbian friends - all of ours are straight, young people. So, we are hopeful to make some couple friends that we can hang out with and enjoy.

Babe and I were talking about how nice it would be to have people over to watch football, eat dinner, play games, etc.... When we were in the office, gathering information, there was a woman sitting at one of the desks wearing a security uniform. Babe was giving her vitals to the rental guy, Zach (he was soooo much fun) and all of a sudden this deep voice....

"B.R.S.? Well..., B.! I thought that looked like you!" A woman's voice sounded into the room (the security guard.) Both of our heads whipped to the left and looked at the surprised look on the woman's face. B., has never been "out" at her places of employment - and there we sat, wearing our matching wedding rings, discussing our children with Zach.

Babe, "Sylvia! Honey, I worked with Sylvia at Home Depot!" Looking directly at me.

Sylvia, "I was just telling Zack (the rental guy) about how I got fired at Home Depot for writing Homo Depot on my orange apron!" Laughter filled the small room.

Paula, "Well! They must not have a sense of humor over there!" Smiling at the woman who could obviously arm wrestle an elephant to the ground.

Babe, "No they didn't! Remember, my boss was the one that dressed in drag on the weekends! Gay by night..., straight by day!" More laughter filled the room.

"B., you are going to love it here!" Staring at me while I smiled at her, "They are all sorts of us (wink, wink - nudge, nudge) here..., all over! I'm moving in on the fifteenth, myself. The complex is very gay friendly, every one helps each other out, there are walking trails, a fitness room, two pools, fishing pond and wooded areas."

Paula, "Oh my God, babe..., we might make some friends!" Looking at Sylvia, "All of our friends are straight..., makes discussing gay and lesbian issues a little difficult..., and we can't behave like ourselves!" Sylvia shakes her head up and down in agreement.

Eventually, we made our way out to the pool area and Zack knew all of the swimmers by name and bantered back and forth with them. If we should pass the background check, Zack will live directly across the hall from us. He shares a three bedroom apartment and their total utility bills are only $200.00 a month! Wow..., that is about $300 less than we are spending right now! SOLD SOLD SOLD! So..., cross your fingers and lets see if babe can get us into this apartment.

They are a drug free community and have someone on sight, enforcing this policy 24/7 - that is why Sylvia was there. Babe said that Sylvia and her partner were trying to have a baby, succeeded and then the relationship fell apart. She thought that their relationship was already troubled so..., she wasn't surprised to find out that they had split two years ago. She said that Sylvia had worked in the paint department at Home Depot - which got a smile and a nod from me, "Yep..., I remember her now!"

The third apartment complex that we went to..., well..., it was a homophobic nightmare! The first ugly look came when she saw that we both had the same address. The leasing agent didn't want to show us any apartments; just wanted us to walk around the office (an apartment itself). So I said, "Hmm..., this really isn't a good representation of what an actual, lived in by many people, apartment would look like..., so, walking around in here, isn't going to satisfy us." The woman frowned and Babe and I exchanged glances. "We want..., to see..., an actual..., apartment!" She suggested that we go and look at one that she knew was out of our price range. So, I said, "Hmm..., you just wrote down the price range that we can afford..., and you know..., the one that you are going to show us..., is too expensive!" A huff and a hateful stare in my direction. I spoke slowly and deliberately to her - not rude - just letting her know that she wasn't going to get rid of us that easily. (All 5 foot 4 of me - laughing, because I'm soooo non-threatening!) So..., she took us to one that was out of our price range, of course, (which we realized once we got inside the damned thing) and while it was brand new, large and clean - there was no way in hell that we were going to rent from this company.

The woman said, "So..., you two share a cat? How do you..., share..., a cat?" Looking at Babe because she was no longer talking to me. Pretending that she was a complete idiot!

Paula, "It is the same cat..., in the..., same house!" More frowning on the woman's part.

The leasing agent, "And, B., you have children? How do..., you..., have children?" Still talking to Babe.

Babe, "We have 3 daughters. Only two will be coming to stay with us while they are on spring break from college!" Babe and I exchange glances for the hundredth time since we met the rude woman. I gave her my "no way in hell" look and she promptly provided me with her "I rather die" look, in return.

I promptly said, "Thank you, we've seen..., enough!" And we left the apartment, got in the Zoom Zoom and shook our heads from side to side as we drove off to the next destination.

Paula, "For heaven's sakes, babe..., could she have been any ruder, more disgusted or aloof?"

Babe, "I should have ran her over in the parking lot when I had a chance! She was walking across the street when we drove up!" Chuckling. "What a bitch! I think we intimidated her!"

Paula, "I think she is a complete twit! Neither one of us are intimidating, in the slightest bit, babe! She couldn't even look us in the eye when she spoke to us! Didn't offer to give us a ride to the apartment, like the last two places did! Do we have contagious written on our foreheads or something? I need a new, ice cold, Mt. Dew..., if we are going to have to put up with this kind of ridiculous behavior!" Babe immediately pulls into a Quick Trip so that we can refresh our drinks.

Babe, checked to see how I was feeling, numerous times during the day. She is such a sweetheart and loves me so much. I actually got to go to work last night, came home and attempted to sleep some before we headed out for our day. I didn't get much rest, because I'm used to going to bed at about 10:30 in the morning - not 5:00 AM. Instead, I tossed and turned, mumbled and kicked my legs, flung myself and the covers, all over the bed, as usual. I'm sure sleeping with me - the sleep all over the bed and talk out loud, while you are dreaming, woman - isn't that fun. We have a full size bed - yep..., not much room for flailing yourself around. Anyway..., I'm getting a little tired and it is hot outside, so we agreed that we would go see one more apartment complex, head home and take a nap.